What I mean by that is; No ultrasounds no Doppler heart test. No unnecessary checkups at the midwife just when I felt the need to get my questions answered and the urge to talk about our little
wonder coming into the world.
Luckily we came across really nice mid wife’s who wanted to go along on our journey and were very open to our point of view.
The first thing I decided when I got pregnant was whether I wanted an ultrasound or not. I asked myself what it would tell me. What good it would do for the baby inside my belly and what I would
do with the information if something wasn’t right. Of course, the feeling of wanting to see what was growing inside of me was there but reading about the negative sides of an ultrasound made the
decision even easier it most likely wouldn’t do the baby any good. And what would I do with the information if they told us there was a possibility that there was something “wrong.” I would
probably be worried about the baby my whole pregnancy and what good would that do, being inside a mother who is worried the entire time. So there and then I ended the discussion in my head. No
ultrasounds or doppler heart sounds.
I will never forget the moment Ferdinand heard his little heartbeat for the first time while lying with his ear on my belly. He sort of lit up and smiled the biggest smile, which in my opinion,
was so much better than hearing it through a machine at the midwives office.
Keeping faith in Mother Nature can be tough these days. So much fear enters your head from all around. I tried to shut that all out and trust my gut feeling. When I felt Flynn move inside my
tummy and react when I was listening to music when Ferdinand would be talking to us or playing the piano I could feel that he would respond and those reactions got stronger as I got farther along
in my pregnancy.
Besides that, I was feeling really well myself. I sometimes even had the feeling I physically felt better during my pregnancy than before. So as long as everything was going well, why
Meditating also helped me a lot. During meditation, I had the feeling I could get very close to Flynn and feel him very strong. So every night before going to sleep, I would take a moment to
connect with him. Now that he is born he still really likes to take this moment before we go to sleep. So I am guessing he could feel my undivided attention while inside my belly.
Why disturb this whole natural process if there are so many signs that everything is going well.
And don't get me wrong I am not against a little help from outside if things do get complicated or unforeseen things would happen. But as long as this is not necessary, I choose to follow my gut
in every situation.
I don't know whether Flynn being a pleased, easy, and relaxed baby is a result of this all. But I am definitely very happy with the choices I made during my pregnancy.
Being self-governing is a big part of what I have learned during my pregnancy and labor. I am a person who wants to keep control of everything myself. Not that I am a big control freak, but I
hate it when people tell me what to do, especially when I am not ready to do them. So during my pregnancy, I discussed this with my midwife and told her I wanted to do as much as possible by
feeling, without her telling me what to do. This ended up working out really well. My body told me exactly what to do and trusting it instead of flying into fear made it a quick and a problem
free birth for little Flynn. Once I held him in the warm water in the birthing pool, and he looked up at me. I couldn't believe what I saw. Such a perfect tiny boy never could I have expected
that it would feel like this to see him for the very very first time.